Wednesday, August 15, 2012

A New Life...

I'm like a freakin' 6-year-old...

Professor Honeycutt, eh?

Why does good news freak me out just as much as bad news?  Or more, depending on how bad the bad news is?

I have a signed contract that I am going to move up to Visiting Assistant Professor at UIC from Lecturer/ Research Specialist.  It's a huge jump in rank, in pay, and in security.

Assuming I do well this year, the next contract will be for three years.  Which means settling down, finally.

I'll also be getting a new apartment because my new salary makes such a thing possible - it's stable.

But now... after not wanting to come to Alaska... I don't want to leave...

Me releasing a bird in the early morning at the Fairbanks bird banding station.  Despite all the things the little bird had gone through, it didn't want to fly away right away.  (Yes, I'm really worn and sunburned.  Canoeing and shooting and hiking will do that.  :-) )
There's so many experiences I've gotten used to - so many freedoms...

Me shooting Tee's Chicago Typewriter.
Also, my relationship with my husband is working out.  The bad stuff went away and he got better.  Apparently the authority and responsibility of the military helped him a lot.

The experience of war has also changed him a lot.  He wants to go out and experience life, not just sit in front of a video game.

Peter taking a break and checking out a map while we were hiking in the mountains of Denali National Park.
He also lets me take care of him in ways that I have a psychological need to well... care for someone...

Homebaked blueberry whole-wheat... somethings.  With a little drizzle of honey.  They were supposed to be for his lunches, but he ate them that night.
Home made whole wheat pizza.  The one on the left has meat for my carnivore.
So... is that terrible?  I should be ecstatic.

I need to learn "inner calmness":

"For governing a country well
there is nothing better than moderation.

"The mark of a moderate man
is freedom from his own ideas.
Tolerant like the sky,
all-pervading like sunlight,
firm like a mountain,
supple like a tree in the wind,
he has no destination in view
and makes use of anything
life happens to bring his way.

"Nothing is impossible for him.
Because he has let go,
he can care for the people's welfare
as a mother cares for her child."

- Tao Te Ching 59


  1. Congratulations!
    I think, right? Change is often difficult, even good change.

  2. Thank you. "Congrats" is right. This is, so to speak, "the goal."

    I think wanting it makes it difficult to accept I got it. I have a hard time celebrating achievements. For example, other than my high school graduation I've never attended the actual graduation ceremony. It's always "Well, that's done... what's next?"

  3. You're husband sounds like a jerk. You should leave him and run away with me.

    1. Yup. Total jerk. Crazy, my Feedjit says you're from AK, too... I WILL run away with you! Next summer, though. :-)