It was me.
My co-teacher never met with a student, never answered an email. I helped every step of the way.
But I was the one considered rude.
A colleague of mine said that he thinks that a big part of it is "too much contact." "I am rude - everyone says it - and I ignore them. But I get great reviews. They saw too much of you, I think."
That was from someone who, well, gave me a job when no one else would.
I was thinking about this post here:
Almost no one has ever complained about my intelligence or niceness.
It's always things like "You over-react..." "You work yourself up..." "You work too hard and then you blow up (or by the time anyone sees it it's incomprehensible.)" "You worry too much about what people think." "You're organized, but then you lose it." "Sometimes you seem unpredictable."
These aren't the types of things a career councilor can help with. Or a pastor, really (although I'm going to make an appointment with mine.)
These are the kinds of things that a psychiatrist helps with.
I've been in-and-out of "the chair" for most of my life. I eventually leave because they tell me something I don't want to hear. Not "You're not nice." Not "You're not smart." Not "You don't think about others."
Eventually they say that I have something that says "I'm broken." Or that's how I read it: "I'm broken and I'll be broken forever."
I try to combat it by doing the things I'm "supposed" to do: go out, be social, talk to others... I do all the things that are the opposite of what a "sick" person would do.
But acting a part and actually being well are two different things (contrary to what Skinner might say.) There are still things that are "wrong."
I don't know what they are but maybe having more than 2 visits to the couch in a row is part of the recipe for change.